“I was setting myself way to high a goal that felt almost impossible to achieve and that I actually did not have much control over! And there is nothing as dispiriting as failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond my control such as bad business environment, poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain happenings (which we like to label as bad luck I suppose. Now, I base my goals around personal performance or skills or knowledge to be acquired, and I can keep control over the achievements and draw satisfaction from them, or review them and improve them. It’s about taking smaller steps – to achieve the bigger ones.“
The pitfall of ‘Unfulfilled Expectation’
Above is just one example of a client who felt stuck and unable to move forward because so often she was disappointed due to ‘unfulfilled expectation’. She was expecting way too much from herself, for what she wanted to achieve in the long run. Then when it didn’t happen, it only added to her feelings of ‘not being good enough’ and ‘never getting it right anyway’ – those kind of limiting beliefs that were holding her back in the first place!
Yes, it is important to look ahead and look at what it is you’d like to achieve overall (e.g the weight loss, that specific cottage with the view, the relationship, financial independence, better health etc.), because that is what you want. However, there is a whole process involved to actually get to were you’d like to be, which require subgoals involving doable, bite-size chunks or actions that you can put in place ‘right now’ and which will give you a ‘feel-good’ factor. It will allow you to go at your own pace. To review and improve when it is not going exactly according to plan (look at ‘what works, and what doesn’t work’). This way you can turn it into a fun experiment! Keeping going and making adjustments along the way, managing your time and energy – instead of being disappointed because it didn’t go as planned.
Outcome goals or performance goals?
Often ‘outcome goals’ are based on the rewards of achieving something, whether these are for example financial or based on the recognition of others. These can be highly motivating factors in the early stages, however as they are achieved, the benefits of further achievement at the same level.. reduce! And you will progressively become less motivated.
‘Performance goals’ are helping you to set those type of goals that you’ll have as much control over as possible. E.g. you might achieve a personal best in a race, but still be disqualified as a result of poor judging decision. If you set an outcome goal of being in the top 3, then this will be a defeat. If you set a performance goal of achieving a particular time, then you will have achieved the goal and can draw satisfaction and self-confidence from its achievement.
Tips from the Top for goal setting
“TODAY’s GOALS SHOULD BE DERIVED FROM LARGER GOALS. IT’S NOT A SPRINT … IT’S A MARATHON!”
About the author: Femke Adrienne Williams has a BSN and MSc in Health Promotion from Maastricht University (The Netherlands). She enjoys continuous learning and using her wellbeing coaching, natural health & healing knowledge and intuition to help others find their own resources and solutions to their life’s challenges, and to talk about ways that the human energy systems can support our physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health. When she’s not getting super passionate about her favourite topics of alignment, holistic health, moving meditation (Chakradance), engagement, deeper purpose, learning, joy & creativity, she loves to go up into creating her own art works, playing the piano, horseriding, spending time with her family and travel.